We are at chapter 3, verse 16, which says, "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to god." I already talked about the word of Christ. The teaching and admonishing is curious also. What should be the content of that teaching? What are the actual teachings of Christ, not Paul? Remember the church probably had no access yet to the books of the bible that we call the gospels. Paul has said the gospel is simply the revelation of the hitherto unknown fact that Christ is in everyone, even the gentiles.
The part about singing is a key verse used in churches of Christ. The legalists among them say that since only Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs are mentioned, those are the only kind of songs that Christians can sing. Also, there is an absence of musical instruments of a mechanical nature mentioned. Therefore, they conclude that it would be going beyond biblical authority to use musical instruments in a worship service and, by extension, in a church building. However, this passage says nothing about worship services or church buildings.
The next verse says that whatever they do, the Colossians should do it in the name of Jesus while giving thanks to God through Jesus. I suppose that could even include playing a musical instrument. How easy is it to actually implement this command? Should I brush my teeth in the name of Jesus? Should I comb my hair in the name of Jesus? What does that mean any way? How does doing something in the name of Jesus change what you are doing in any way? Do you have to say I do " whatever it is" in the name of Jesus? I am getting out of bed in the name of Jesus. I am crossing the floor in the name of Jesus. I am getting a vitamin and a glass of water in the name of Jesus. Jesus, that would be a pain.
Now we come to the really controversial stuff. Verse 18 says, "Wives submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the lord." According to Google dictionary, submission is "accepting or yielding to a superior force or the will or authority of another person." Paul does not tell the Colossians' wives that Jesus says they are to submit. In fact, nowhere in scripture does Jesus tell wives what to do. This is Paul speaking. Paul, a man who never had a wife, telling wives what to do. He is implicitly expecting them to submit to his authority on this matter, and he's not even their husband. What if their husbands told them to ignore Paul? Hmm? I'm not going to get into why this is bad advice and how it has caused so much misery in the lives of women over the centuries, even today.
Verse 19 says, "Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them." This verse is used far less often, but it is usually used to justify the previous verse. If a husband is following this command (of Paul's), the wife should have no trouble with submitting, right? Wellll...it turns out that practically every man has a different definition of "love" and "harsh." Plus, their definitions are often different than the wives' definitions. I suggest you read up on Christian patriarchy and complementarianism. They are really both the same thing. The latter is just a modern spin on it. It boils down to "the person with male genitalia has the final word in the marriage relationship, and maybe in everything else as well.
The churches of christ generally practice a soft complementarianism. No women have any leadership role, or even any public speaking role, in most congregations. They are relegated to the spheres of child care, cleaning, food prep, and women's studies. They do not preach, lead prayer in mixed company, lead singing in mixed company, teach with adult males present, or serve communion in mixed company. In more legalistic congregations, women do not even participate in bible discussions in mixed company. However, home life is not necessarily that restricted, depending on the individuals. A wide range of freedom and oppression occurs, with lip service still given to the man's authority. The previous passage is not the only one in the New Testament used to support the practice of patriarchy.
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